Pithy

"Well behaved women rarely make history"

I saw this on a bumper sticker last weekend.  Turns out it's not an uncommon place to find the saying - but it still bears consideration.

Some women that came to mind included Joan of Arc, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Rosa Parks, and Cleopatra.

After googling the phrase to 'flesh out' my ideas for a post, I realized that there have been many opinions on something that was originally part of a scholarly article by a Pulitzer Prize winning author.  It's amazing to me how a simple sentence can sweep through culture and make its iconic way to mugs, T-shirts, bumpers and blogs.  This will not be an analysis of the phrase or culture or anything else.  Far greater and more impassioned minds have discussed it for decades.  

Interestingly, my husband was the one who pointed out the bumper sticker while we were driving.  He knew I would chuckle and he appreciated the sentiment.  How far we have come!  A few years ago he might've guffawed (yes, actually guffawed) at the statement or talked some nonsense about liberal women.  And now, he actually agreed with and passed along his recommendation.  

In my little kingdom, I am pleased that my naughty behavior has in some small way caused my once misogynistic husband to re-think many foundational ideas.  I am content that our own history is being reshaped by this 'naughty' life that we now enjoy.  And it's way more fun this way!!

As an aside, I was able to harvest some more bamboo for my cane collection.  I planned to take a pic in the bamboo but it was a rainy day.  I love bamboo canes!!

Sprung

Spring has sprung! I am so excited that the robins have returned, the ground is snow-free and this Mistress can play outside again.

We've spent a winter inside going a bit stir-crazy. At least, I have. We spent many cold nights in the dungeon or in other more creative ways. But nothing cheers me as much as outdoor play!

This is the time to hit the woods. The weather has gotten warmer and the bugs are not yet a problem. I believe I may even schedule an overnight with subby in the woods. I'm sure that is not everyone's cup of tea. But after all the years of dragging me along on camping trips, it only seems fair that I return the favor!

I hope all of you are enjoying the thaws and sunshine wherever you are!

Be the wood

It's been so long since I've posted or even looked at my blog that I was worried that I'd forget my password.  Thankfully, I'm a creature of habit!

I received the following picture gift from my friend, Aldo, who likes to photoshop little men in interesting situations.  I liked the pic enough to post it here -  a momentary break in my unintentional blog silence.

I hope you enjoy...

I wonder if this poor man is begging for me to split him like a log or if he is begging for me to spare him?  Either situation is appealing to me! 

In other news, the weather has taken a permanent detour from winter for another year which always puts me in a very good mood.  I've enjoyed the bit of snow and cold we've had, but I really prefer the warmer months for outdoor domination.  I don't mind putting subby out in the cold, but I'm a fair-weather queen.   In fact, Aldo's pic below shows where I would like to be!!

I have been pursuing some femsub leads and have even lunched with a prospective playmate.  Not a girl for full-time, but a lovely and beautiful diversion.  I have found that living in a secluded locale is good for privacy but it sucks for meeting people!  No worries, I am patient and determined (though I'm certainly not getting any younger - but who is?!)



A bit late to the game!

This is a post that will reveal my relative newbie status in femdom.  Although I have been enjoying my life as a Mistress for the last couple of years, my adult years leading up to that time were sheltered when it came to kink.  I never watched porn as an adult and my illicit reading was limited to Anne Rice (I still love her!).  I was open to playing kinky games, but my experience with the outside world of kink was limited at best.

Over the last couple of years my horizons have certainly broadened.  I regularly read kinky sites, I play with strap-ons, I visit adult stores, and I try to find porn that interests me.  Last year, I added "The Story of O" to my netflix streaming queue.  I didn't know much about the movie except for the synopsis on Netflix - but it seemed interesting enough to me.  For some reason, I didn't actually sit down to watch it until this week.  I can't believe I waited so long.

Let me preface my thoughts on the movie itself with saying that I am assuming that most of the readers here have watched the movie or read the book.  So I am not offering any expert critique with this post, simply my observations and feelings.  The movie is based on the same titled book by Pauline Reage (a pseudonym for Dominique Aury or Anne Desclos - sources differ, though I believe it was Ms. Aury) written in 1954.  I did not know that the author was a woman when I first watched the movie - but after watching it I was not the least bit surprised.  Most people that I've asked seem to remember that the movie is about a woman taken as a slave to a French chateau.  That is certainly a huge part of the story, but there is so much more that takes place outside of the chateau as well.

The movie opens with "O", a beautiful young woman, being driven to a country estate with her lover, Rene.  He is instructing her that he will be delivering her to a place where she will be expected to obey whatever is demanded of her - for him.  He removes her bra and panties and watches her make her way to the door of the lovely castle.  My first good impression with the writing was in the opening scene while the narrator describes the scene... and after she goes in, restarts by saying... "Another version of the same beginning was simpler and more brutal."  I loved the line and all that preceded it.  I was already hooked! 


Anyway - back to the action.  O is delivered to new masters and submits to them because of her love for her first master, Rene.  While there, she is initiated into the new lifestyle by being used by the men and whipped, all while Rene observes.  He has never been harsh with her and his prior dominance was loving and sensual.  She is prepared and taken care of by several other female slaves (there appear to be no male slaves).   During her stay there, she is whipped and overseen by her valet, Pierre.  A man she refuses to look directly at and someone she later confesses she loves because of Rene.  When the appropriate time comes, and I don't know how that is decided, Rene returns for her and they go back to Paris and her life as a fashion photographer.  She is noticeably happier and more serene than she was before she left.

Over the course of time, O is given to another master, Sir Stephan - the one for whom she was orignally intended and groomed.  Rene disappears into the background and the story becomes focused on O and Sir Stephan.  Along the way, she is encouraged to take a female lover that she desires in hopes of leading her into the lifestyle for Rene.  Sir Stephan wants to teach O to obey him even though he does not love her and to take the yoke of others for him as well.  Throughout, O is tested and always given the option of leaving.  She never does and actually thrives with each new challenge.  She eventually is pierced and branded for Sir Stephan and he eventually loves her. 

I loved seeing the evolution of both O's submission and dominance in the movie.  She seems to embrace both halves of the same coin with confidence and joy.  I enjoyed the narration of the woman as action and scenes changed.  There are some beautiful scenes of whipping (I thought) that take place at a location, not the chateau, meant for female slaves to be branded and pierced.  O received a whipping by a fellow slave and also had the opportunity to give a whipping.  All of this took place to classical music being played by the 'house mother' at the location.  Later, Sir Stephan gifts O with a replica of the room that O was whipped in - either for her to whip someone or receive whippings. 

The final scene of the movie was my favorite - and even though my thoughts here are full of spoilers, I won't ruin the final surprise.  But I will say that I almost applauded!

I would love to hear your thoughts on the movie and book.  I honestly expected the movie to be a bad cliche of bdsm.  I was happily pleased that in my opinion - it wasn't.

 Here is Part 1 of Dominique Aury's story... "The Lovers of Roissy"
Part 1

Another collection

I don't like to collect things.  Generally around here I am the one that likes to purge.  Everyone else is left scratching their heads wondering what happened to the pair of half-used AAA batteries that were in the junk drawer or some other nonsense.  However, I do like to keep useful things categorized and available.

Seeing a 'collection' theme developing with my domme toys, I decided to talk about my assortment of dildos and harnesses.  Along with the paddle, I received a new dildo for Christmas.  A gift idea for the girl who has everything!  Anyway, I did not have subby make me one - eww.  Instead, I treated myself with a new model (pictured below).  This particular dildo attaches to the Doc Johnson vac-u-loc harness.  I find that the dildo is a perfect size.  "Not too big, not too small, just right" - said goldilocks.  The other thing I like about this dildo is that it is rigid enough and handles the heavy lifting of strap-on play.

Pictured below is my collection of dildos and harnesses.  There are three harnesses.  The first is a leather harness fitted with an o-ring attachment.  This works with dildos that have a base to secure with the o-ring.  This was my first harness and is near to my heart.  I enjoy letting subby tighten each of the straps on the harness.  He is able to feel them push into my flesh while the dildo menacingly hangs near his face.  I'm sure it's a sensory predicament.  He enjoys the proximity of my ass, my thighs, my pussy and yet he knows that when it's all said and done, he will be penetrated with the faux flesh.  His fingers nearly tremble when he pulls on the straps!

The second harness is the Doc Johnson's vac-u-lock harness which uses a vacuum system for attaching the dildos.  This harness fits like a pair of bikini panties.  It can be tightened, but not as effectively as my leather harness.  However, it is a suitable harness and I don't have any complaints.  I have three dildos that attach to this harness (one, a weird-shaped purple dildo, is not pictured). 

Finally, the third harness - and the most adventurous in my opinion, is the head harness.  I believe that Suzanne at All Mine has a head harness for her sissy and is very pleased with it.  I also love mine.  First of all, I'm not the one that wears it!  Poor subby wears the harness over his head (which is probably obvious considering its name).  A gag is inserted in his mouth and a dildo is attached.  This is one of the most humbling things I inflict on subby.  I don't know why it's so humbling for him as I know many subs LOVE this type of service.  Perhaps it's because it's a mockery of our early married days when he was in control.  He is usually on his knees very low or lying on his back while tied to the bed when I use the head harness.  His view is very intimate and yet he is unable to do more be an anchor for his cock substitute.  I imagine a time when I will be lying on the bed, while he is fucking me with the head harness and he is being taken from behind by my femsub.  Ahhh.. a girl can dream!

I've talked about my feeldoes (pictured above...red and purple) at length before so I won't go into much description now.  However, they really are a fun treat for a domme.  No harness required as one end fits nicely into me, they vibrate, and they are pretty.  I have reached orgasm every time I've used a feeldoe.

For what it's worth, my favorite dildo to use on subby is the black ribbed dildo in the leather harness. It is stiff, large enough and subby feels every ridge as it moves into his ass.

I would welcome any suggestions you might have regarding different dildos or different uses for the ones I have.  My collection is adequate at this point with dildos of various sizes and textures.   However, I am attracted to new and improved and when it comes to this collection, I could see myself becoming a hoarder.

Unlikely Fantasy

Today's post is a change from the regular fodder of this blog, but one which I hope you will enjoy.

Over time, while on CM, I have been approached often by men.  It seems that generally they are unable to read my desires - though explicitly stated.  You know, the desire for a FEMsub.  I have unwittingly been in contact with many men, but that was because they pretended to be women, which is a story for another day.

However, one man claiming his manliness from the beginning, did get my attention.  He provoked me months ago in a smart-ass one-liner.  I confess that it didn't take much to provoke me then.  I have since developed the healthy habit of deleting any provocative messages.  But this man perked my interest.  Not so much because I was hoping to dominate him, but because he was both bold and disarming.  I enjoyed our banter and was entertained by him.  Over the months, we have developed a 'friendship' online.  In fact, I refer to him as my 'bestie' which unnerves him - ha!  When we first began interacting he was unaware of my blog.  My pride was wounded!  (ha, kidding a bit)  Since then, he reads it occasionally and offered to write a 'fantasy' piece for me to post.  I present the beginning of that piece here.  I'll let you decide what is real and what is fantasy. 

Meeting Mistress Marie


"I am not, by nature, what you would call a whiney little bitch. In fact, were you to meet me, you would probably feel somewhat intimidated by me, and you might turn out to be the whiney little bitch. First of all, I was a Marine Corps Colonel of Infantry. That’s right – and all that entails. Since leaving the service as a result of injuries sustained in Afghanistan, I’ve been both a great success in the defense industry and a successful writer. My entire life, I have attracted women who seek powerful men and that phrase that I have most commonly heard in bed is “oh, Matt, do whatever you want to me”.

Having said that, I do, as is the case with most people, have an “other” side. Since I was a teen, I have secretly craved the dominance of women. This craving, I’m ashamed to say, was initiated by my gorgeous, wicked sister, but that’s another story. Since then, however, submission hasn’t fit into my life for a multitude of reasons. Oh, in fantasy, surely, but you don’t generally find Marine Colonels trolling the internet seeking feminine dominance, and I knew that were I to be discovered, well, my career and life would come to a dramatic and unpleasant end.

 
Then, I happened upon Mistress Marie, when I was investigating a site which caters to the BDSM community. While she indicated on her profile that she was only interested in finding submissive women, I was able to strike up a conversation with her through a smart-ass comment regarding her husband. I confess, that unlike most of the Dommes that I’ve engaged with (though never met since my retirement from the Corps) I found Miss Marie to be unique. Not only is she beautiful, but she’s also intelligent, witty and utterly charming. While our conversation was, generally speaking, not the sort of back-and-forth one might expect between a Domme and a submissive, we found a sort of mutual admiration, I think, which allowed us to move beyond general amusement and into a harder discussion of fantasy and possibility. While this was all very hypothetical at the time, despite her pleasant demeanor and frankly adorable persona, she made it abundantly clear that when it came to Dominance, she was unbending – and that she slaves were expected to expect suffering, simply because it gave her pleasure to hear men plead for mercy.

While I attempted to hedge a bit having never experienced pain at the hands of a woman, I didn’t try to talk her off of her position. My fantasies had, after all, been somewhat extreme over time and well, I trusted her and had grown to crave her attention with the sort of desperation which would have formerly embarrassed me. Besides, I lived in Chicago, and she lived far away in her remote mountain estate. The chances of us ever meeting were minimal. After all, she never gave me the slightest inkling that our relationship was anything other than an online one.

And then one morning, I awoke to find an email from Mistress Marie in which she told me that she had to be in Chicago for a bit of family business and that she’d allow me to meet her in person for a cocktail. Words are inadequate to express my excitement. My hands began to tremble. Not that I had any expectations – she hadn’t allowed me to develop any, but the mere idea of being in personal proximity to this exquisite creature was almost more than my body could absorb. How much I had to learn.

Let me simply say that our meeting was one of the most enjoyable evenings that I have ever spent – and that was without ever laying a finger on her. First of all, she exceeded my every expectation in terms of her physical beauty. Brilliant smile, round, bouncy ass – she was a petite firecracker with a sharp mind and an acid sense of humor. As it turns out, she’s also deeply religious and a noteworthy humanitarian. To be honest, I didn’t know whether I desired her more as a Domme or a wife. I do know that I was profoundly envious of her husband. We had cocktails and then dinner before I escorted her back to the Drake where she was staying. I must have looked quite pathetic as I bid her good night – already knowing my place – but hoping that she’d invite me up anyway. Instead, she reached up and stroked my cheek and laughingly said, “such a good boy”, before turning and walking away.

Our online lives continued without missing a beat. I’m nothing if not self-disciplined and I didn’t want to whine or plead for more than she was prepared to offer. Then, to my shocked surprise, I received a note from her, last September in which she invited me to visit her home. Her husband, it seems, was going out of town to visit his family in Florida for a week and if I wished, I could come and sample submission for a day or two, at her hands. As you know, her husband is her slave (lucky bastard) and she had simply informed him that she wished to dominate me, and bid him to leave town for a long weekend. So, that late September Friday, I found myself driving east toward a rendezvous in the mountains that was beyond my imagination to conceive of."

So, there it is.  I plan to offer a version of my own fantasy situation that would perhaps mirror his.  For now, I hope you enjoy the offering of my 'bestie'.  He is a gem.  I expect him to complete the story in another post.

Paddles

For Christmas, I ordered a new paddle.  Actually, I ordered it from subby.  I told him what I was looking for and set him to work.  Like shoes, you can never have too many paddles.  Each one is unique and has its strengths and weaknesses. 

This particular new paddle is long, thin and lightweight.  It's not fancy, but it is very effective.  It does not take a lot of effort to hit that sweet spot  (you know what I'm talking about) when paddling subby.  I find the perfect spot almost every time.  There is some flex in the wood which helps. 

I know that I've mentioned how satisfying I find spanking.  I love the sound of the paddle against the flesh.  I love to see the flesh react to the paddle - the seismic tremors across the ass!  I love to hear the almost immediate cries with each swing.  I especially love otk spanking because I enjoy the intimacy of subby's body on my lap - prone and heavy.  I find the whole experience to be a domme's sensory theme park! :)

Here is a picture of my collection of paddles.

The small rectangular paddle on the table is my first paddle and still a favorite.  The oval paddle on the right is engraved with Ms. Marie backwards in order to leave an imprint.  It is probably too large of an engraving and doesn't work so well on subby's ass for leaving a readable imprint - but it spanks effectively.  The same is true of the M paddle.  I believe that I had subby make the engraving go through the entire paddle to assist in swinging the paddle.  And the ruler - well, I think every spanking domme should have an old fashioned wooden ruler. I prefer to use it for spanking subby's cock when necessary!

More Rodzo

Last spring I did a post about the art of Rodzo.  I love his work.

I love the almost gentle nature of the art. I also like the muted colors (when there is color) and the very subtle backgrounds.

I look at the women in this art and I feel like I'm looking at a more elegant version of myself. Probably the large asses and the short hair are what draw me in. I also appreciate that the woman is queening or face-sitting on her subject, but that it's done in a very idle and relaxed manner while sometimes talking on her phone. It's as if she is nonplussed by the obvious service and submission of her male. And when she does appear to focus on her male, it is in a calm and deliberate way.

Here are a couple newer drawings that I have been enjoying lately...

 
I've also found a couple that would be interesting scenarios in light of my femsub search. 
 

I can imagine how much fun it would be to dominate subby with another woman! 
 
I hope you enjoy these wonderful pics as much as I do!
 

Warming Up

Winter weather finally seems to be settling in here in the mountains.  A little bit of snow and a lot of cold.  Bitter cold, actually.  I am not a fan of the cold but there's no point in complaining about it.  At least that's what I told subby just yesterday! 

Yesterday morning, we awoke to sub-zero temperatures.  It was frigid!  But in the house we stay toasty and warm thanks to a woodstove (a necessary item here in the woods.)  Our dungeon does not stay as warm as the rest of the house because it's located in the far reaches of our basement.  When the temp dips into the subzero and because of the stones and lack of snow against the foundation, the dungeon is usually 60 degrees or so.  I think the cooler air just adds to the ambience of a torture chamber :)  Anyway, I told subby that I had some plans for him in the dungeon.  He began to protest in a somewhat respectful way.  But then he started whining that it is too cold in the dungeon for him to be naked there for a long time.  Poor boy.  I secretly agreed that it is pretty chilly, but I didn't want him to know that.  So I ordered him to the dungeon.  An order can not be respectfully protested or whined about and he went.  He spent some time on the bondage cross while I teased and taunted him with my crop.  We spent enough time there for him to know that whining is not only an ineffective strategy, but that it actually gives me more determination!

I took another opportunity today to dominate him in a much more comfortable (for me) setting. In fact, I bound him very close to the woodstove.  No, it wasn't extreme heat torture - but that is an idea!  I humiliated him by putting the corset on him then I took him like the whiney girl he is over the table with my very ample strap-on!  I'm not sure he appreciated the warmth of the woodstove as much as he thought he would. 

It was fun to have back to back domination sessions with him.  Even though I haven't been blogging much, we have been enjoying a lot of play over the last few months.  It is still exciting to have this power over my alpha-male submissive. 

Naughty or Nice

This might be turning into blog featuring only holiday posts since my last post was for Halloween. Actually, my blogging time has reduced greatly (obviously) but it hasn't kept me from donning the leather and whip on a very regular basis.  I had high hopes for a pretty sub wrapped up under my tree this Christmas and while I'm talking to one special girl, it is still a slow process here in the sticks.  In the meantime, I amuse myself with subby who is the perfect sub these days.  He was an enthusiastic photographer for my Holiday pics, although he was worried this might end up on a card to all of his closest friends.  Lucky friends if it did!  Soon after taking these pics, instead of changing into more vanilla attire, I took subby to the dungeon and enjoyed using my whip on him there. 

This picture reminds me of a series of commercials that have delighted me this season.  As a domme, I am loving the Best Buy commercials.  Every one of them features a woman, who when she realized the power she had after buying from the electronics giant, gives a bitch-slap to Santa.  I can only imagine Santa showing up here while I'm at the tree like this... "Awkward" doesn't begin to describe it!  My favorite commercial is the one where the woman gives plastic santa a little kick off the roof!
Anyway - judging from the outpouring of disgust on the you-tube channel featuring these commercials, they are not for everyone.  But I thought you might enjoy knowing what gives me a chuckle!

Halloween Hijinks

Last night, we attended a halloween party!  I haven't gone to one in many years and I had a great time.

The party was an adults-only party and we went with another couple.  It was a great opportunity to have some fun with subby in a public and more acceptable setting!

At first, I thought I would dress him up as sissy.  He certainly has enough clothes, shoes, etc to pull it off.  But I changed my mind and had him accompany me as my pet complete with a collar and leash.   I had a lot of fun parading him and our friends got a kick out of seeing the 'alpha-dog' behaving like my lap dog. 
As for me, I went as the Nordic Princess.  My viking helmet was proudly worn along with some blonde braids, a black dress and my corset on the outside.  My thigh high boots and a crop completed the look! 

I did have a few cocktails and had subby on display as I put him through his paces and showed off a few tricks.  I even let a couple of my girlfriends borrow him for their amusement while I flirted outrageously with some of the men.  At one point, I caught one of my friends getting carried away with my crop so I took it back and with a wink told her "I'm the only one who can crop him like that!"

To top it off, one of my friends called this morning and told me that our costumes were the best of the night.  She said that it was because we were portrayed as so opposite from real life.  She expected that I would be the one led in on a leash!  I laughed and joked that one never knows.  I was so close to giving her the link to my blog, but conventional wisdom prevailed.  I'm not ready for an outing of that magnitude yet!  It was a wonderful evening!  Happy Halloween Everyone!

Did you know MsMarie is a real swinger?

Catchy title, no? 

Once upon a time in our courtship days, Subby used to take me for hikes.  In fact our first date was to go fishing.  I honestly didn't care as long as I could hang out with him.  Sigh, the early and naive days!  One place we enjoyed was a nearby park.  In the park was an amazing swing.  The swing hung from a couple of trees and the ropes were super long - like 30'.  He used to push me on the swing and I could get some serious air. 

We found ourselves with free time this morning and I decided I would like to revisit that park.  Last week, when I would've preferred to be outside, the weather didn't cooperate.  Today, it wasn't perfect weather, but it was mild enough for my plans.  As happens with most married couples, the early courtship activities fall by the wayside as the realities of married life set in.  I was feeling nostalgic for some of the early days. 

So I packed a small backpack with a few items (water, snack, tripod, etc) along with the camera.  I'm sure subby assumed the camera was for regular pics - the kind I could post on BookFace.  :)  But I did have other plans for the camera and for subby in the park.

We arrived to a quiet park.  I believe we had it to ourselves which suited me just fine!   There was a time when I would've hesitated to make plans to 'play' outside, afraid I might be caught. I'm not that shy anymore!  Subby carried the backpack while we walked along the 'trail'.  We reminisced about our dating days and subby suggested we do this more often.  I bit my tongue - but I was dying to tell him he might not be so eager by the end of our hike.  We made our way to the swing and I was pleased to see it still there (though I think the ropes had been changed in the years since our last visit).  I reminded subby of how he used to send me sailing and suggested we give it a try... but with a couple of modifications. 

I told him to strip and I removed some pesky articles of clothing, too.  I then instructed him to provide oral service to me on the swing.  At first he knelt down.  But I told him that I wanted him standing, which meant holding the swing and me up, while he stood in prime position!  And from that point, I enjoyed being on the swing in the open outdoors while subby worshipped.  One of my favorite things, I've learned, is to take my pleasure outside!  The air, the sounds, the sky, even the risk of being caught...all of those things are very conducive to rousing orgasms!  And it's just fun to let loose and roar when I'm outside. 

I think subby looks very nice in this picture.  He reminds me of Atlas - holding up his world!

Swirling thoughts about mind bondage and gender

Recently I was speaking with a female submissive that I met on CM.  She is truly female (confirmed with a couple of phone calls and even a skype date) and she is a submissive, which are the first things I hope to determine with anyone I speak with.  This particular lovely woman talked about a few things that I hope to explore.  Her profile talks about the mental aspect of domination.  When we talked she elaborated on her desire for that kind of control that takes place in the mind and extends to all other areas.

As I considered our conversation, I began to think more about the kind of domination I have over subby.  I do believe that at the core of our D/s relationship, my control is most firmly established in the area of the mind.  Obviously, we do any number of fun physical activities and I enjoy posting images of our physical play.  However, what makes it tick is the mental control I establish and attempt to maintain over him.  I've often discussed that he is a very 'manly man'.  He has never been a doormat in any vanilla setting.  He is not an easy man to coerce or manipulate.  He shared with me his desire to be dominated by me - but I don't believe that he completely relinquished himself to me until I earned it and took him!  There is a battle within him between his 'take charge' he-man nature, and the desire to submit to me.  So it's important that I not only control the physical scenes we find ourselves in but also the emotional and psychological scenes we live on a daily basis.

Psychological control runs far deeper than physical control. Sex is 90% mental. When I dominate subby, I am taking his will.  It is that mental process that fascinates me more than anything.  The physical domination does excite me, but without the mental domination, the physical is simply a game.  I am convinced that if our D/s relationship consisted of all physical play with no carryover or maintenance in the vanilla aspects of our marriage, we would've become bored and through with it long before now.  Both of us would've found it monotonous.  The mental domination is underscored by the physical and sexual domination.  This all leads me to the 2nd half of our conversation.

The other subject we discussed that is connected to this has to do with the differences between a femsub and a malesub.  Beyond the obvious physical difference, there is a deeper motivational difference.  And to be honest, I haven't really thought hard about it before now.  My new friend has given me some insights into her own submissive buttons and they are in sharp contrast to subby's.  Simply, a male is more easily managed!  Generally, from the youngest ages, the differences in how boys deal with situations varies from girls.  Boys are less emotionally involved in conflict and resolutions and much more physically involved. (before I get flack for making such a stereotypical statement, I would like to say that this is more the 'norm' but that every person is different and there are exceptions.)  Men are less tuned in to moods, looks and tone.    Women, on the other hand, are much more intuitive in relationships.  They often take their cues from tone, inflection and moods.  This sets up a submissive woman to be more ripe for mental domination than a submissive man.  The mental is often intertwined closely with the physical in a man, but with a woman, that doesn't tend to be the case as often.  

As you can see, this is all swirling around in my brain (and on this page!).  I have only begun to think about it so I'm sure that some of your experiences might differ with my 'theories'.  I'm curious about your thoughts on these subjects.    

Having said ALL of that... I would add that if I only exerted mental control and didn't get to enjoy my subby sexually, it would be tragic indeed!  We have a very nice life.  When I eventually do have a femsub, I know how much more difficult the task will be.  But I'm up for it!

Rainy Day Fun

It has been raining here for the last four days straight!  Last weekend we enjoyed some play time outside.  This weekend, although I would've preferred to be outdoors, we ended up in the dungeon.  I wanted to head to a local state park for some riskier adventures - but I'll have to save that for a sunnier time. 

Subby knew that I had plans to be outside with him.  Following Sunday dinner, on a rainy day, he thought the plans must be suspended and he was home free.  He settled in on the sofa in front of a football game on TV while I was cleaning up.  Little did he know that I had other plans for him.   I made him get up and follow me.  We headed to the dungeon.  I love using the domination equipment that I've commissioned from subby.  There's such a significance to dominating him on something he has built at my request!  While I was securing him, he whined a bit about missing the Bills game.  I told him that I would leave it on so he could hear it while he was attending to more important things!  It was more of a tease for him :)

There are seemingly only so many things we can do with the St. Andrew's cross... and yet, a tweak here or there to a previous position, and we have a new form of service!  This time, I secured him by his ankles (as you can see) and I positioned my hard library chair at head level - perfect for his oral attention!  It was not the most comfortable position for subby.  However, I told him that he was there until I came!  He spent a lot of the time with his nose buried in my pussy and not his tongue - but after some adjustments, he managed to settle in to a position that made me squirm.  After a while (and with the help of the crop to keep him focused!), I was cumming! 

As soon as the sun shines... I'm headed to that state park!  I'll keep you updated.

Then & Now - Humiliation: The Intoxicating Power of Words

Then...

Subby used to be a critical ass!  There's no way to sugarcoat it.  He knew exactly what to say to put me in my place and to make me feel like a fool.  He wouldn't yell, but he was a perfectionist in all areas.  He never laid a hand on me, but he had me under his thumb.

Now...

Subby is a considerate man.  He guards his tongue with great care.  Now, I'm the one who uses words to belittle and humiliate.  On the last post, someone commented that they would love the 'transcript' of  our verbal humiliation play.  I don't really have a transcript, per se.  But I do make liberal use of insults and taunts.  The best part is that it is a tool that is sexual because of the context.  I don't use my language to humiliate him publicly or to demean him when we are around others.  But when he is bound at my pleasure, I am able to make him feel like the slave that he is just by speaking.  I remind him of his own former sharp tongue and lash him with mine!  I let him know how unworthy he is to be serving me and that it is a great privilege to feel my own criticism.  It's remarkable how kind and considerate he is now.   I'm sure it has a lot to do with me calling him my 'worthless bitch slaveboy' when I cane him, or taunting his useless impotent cock while I ride the face harness dildo!  I often remind him that this was his greatest desire and that he willingly surrendered his will to mine.  And now, I am free to do and say whatever I will! 

Weekend 'High'jinks

This is a post that includes a few of my favorite things...combined to make a very pleasant afternoon!  I've mentioned before that I have a collection of vintage 50's dresses.  I like the style - it suits my figure and my public look.  I also like the contrast of appearing one way and being very different.  As one friend told me, my appearance would put you in mind of 'missionary-only' sex.  However, I'm far more varied and kinky than that!! (as you all well know!)  So, favorite thing #1 - 50's housewife style clothing.

Favorite thing #2 - outdoor play.  Autumn is my favorite time for outdoor play.  It is a very mild time of year as far as temperature.  There are fewer biting insects!  And it's just a gorgeous time of year.  This weekend has been glorious as far as weather - sunny and warm.  The only thing that could've been nicer would be if we weren't past the peak of the foliage.  C'est la vie.  I was very happy outdoors!

I put an order in with subby for a bar that would be safe for suspension - something like a 'trapeze' bar for submissives.  He finished it last week and I put it to the test this weekend.  We had spent the morning at a fall festival event and had the rest of the day to ourselves.  I commanded subby to the woods - nude of course - while I rigged up the ATV with my new suspension bar.  (my ATV has come in handy before...) A few tugs on it to make sure it was secure... just kidding, I know it was secure... and I was ready.

I began by attaching subby's ankle cuffs to the suspension bar.  Then I slowly lifted him using the ATV to hoist the rope.  When he was at the desired height, I parked the ATV using the parking brake, then made my way back to him.  At that point, favorite thing #3 came into play - namely... verbal humiliation!  How exciting it is to have a captive audience when I am in the mood for verbal humiliation.  Domination doesn't always need to be punctuated with physical pain.  For subby to be suspended helplessly while I tell him that he is my slave and deserves to be treated this way is very erotic!   To be used this way is humiliating for subby.  I think he would prefer for me to whip or cane him and be done with it!  And for me to be fully clothed and mobile while he was exposed and immobile... I love it!

I didn't plan on a long period of inverted suspension for obvious safety reasons, so I released him well before he could pass out, since every domme knows that it's no fun verbally humiliating an unconscious sub!  But since I wasn't done with him, I reversed him and hoisted him upright. 

It is nice to have a submissive to vent my verbal abuse upon.  I enjoy mocking and laughing at, even harassing subby as part of our play.  And when he is so vulnerable, there is no way he couldn't take me seriously. 

All in all, I believe I made the most of a few hours on a glorious fall day.  I tried out a new toy, enjoyed nature and reinforced my dominance.  A few of my favorite things, indeed!

Whirling Dervish

Albert Einstein is credited with saying that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.  I believe that at one time or another we are all 'insane'.  Particularly when it comes to certain areas of our lives.  Everyone has a blindspot, a weakness, an overriding desire.  It's always easy to see others' insanity and then blindly be happily (or unhappily) caught in the whirling dervish of our own.

I have, for many months, been talking about the desire for a femsub.  I've gone on and on about the fakes at one internet cesspool in particular.  And yet.... and yet, I continue to fish in the cesspool.  Many of you are nodding as you read this.  "Yes, MsMarie, I could've told you..." is probably on the tip of your tongue, or 'duh!' to be more succinct!  And you would be right.

Anyway, I want you to know that I get all that... but I'm still searching!  I'm stubborn, I guess.  I am encouraged by little hopeful signs here and there.  I've cammed with a few real women who might possibly make a femsub someday - but not for me.  During the process, the tiny group of potentials (after eliminating the obvious fakes) are generally divided into real women - but not really as they portray themselves.  They are sometimes much older than they lead me to believe.   Or 100lbs heavier (or more) than they lead me to believe.  Or just simply in it for the chat, maybe wishing they could be truly in a relationship but lacking the fortitude.  Which is all fine, except that they begin with a different story - under false pretenses. Sigh upon sigh.  And then one day, on a different but only slightly more reliable site, I met someone.  It's a story I will save for another day.  However, I will say that this particular woman is genuine and we are moving toward a weekend together soon.   I've even commissioned subby to make a new paddle for the time together.  As hopeful as I am, I know that based on my experiences, it's not a sure thing.   Who knows what could change??   

In the meantime I'm looking forward to this weekend.  It's supposed to be a gorgeous holiday weekend and I have outdoor plans with subby.  I'm taking the camera and will share some of that next week!  Hope all of you have a good weekend too!

Autumn Spectacular

Autumn is THE time of year around these parts.  Leaf peepers clog the roads.  The trees are suddenly ablaze with color and the summer folk have all returned to their suburban realities.  Last fall, we had almost a week to ourselves and had some fun outdoor activities and free time.  This fall, we have less free time, but have had some fun anyway.   

Just recently, we enjoyed almost 48 hours of solitude... just me, subby and the dungeon.   I started off our time with sissy on the cross.  It had been awhile since I had my way on his ass and thighs with my cane.   Even with less reinforcement, he has been relatively good.  He has been considerate and goes out of his way to serve me or anticipate my needs.  However, that does not slake my lust for his cries when I cane him.  So, it is necessary (good pet or not) for me to bind him and use the cane.  I enjoyed a hearty caning and found myself in the perfect frame of mind to require more service.  After I  released him from the cross, sissy spent some alone time to recover while I prepared for my next event.  I don't normally plan out one 'event' after another... but as we had only limited free time, I wanted to make the most of it!

After recently cleaning out my toybox - I realized that the head harness w/the dildo hasn't seen alot of action lately.  So, when sissy was secured to the bed, I put the harness on him.  You may recall that it includes a ball gag for his mouth and an o-ring with a dildo for me!  I enjoyed teasing him for awhile.  His cock was nice and hard and then instead of riding his cock (as if!) I rode the head harness.  More accurately - I rode his head!   I can't describe or imagine his feelings about the experience (and really, do I want to?) but for me, it was very intoxicating.  I loved the power I felt and the humiliating aspect of it. 

The rest of the time was spent either outside, in the dungeon, in the bed - or just around the house.  It was a good time of focused and planned domination.  I enjoy any time I can dominate sissy, but to have the concentrated time and freedom was a treat!

I will have more to report very soon on the femsub front.  There have been some very promising developments and I am pleased. 

Until next time... (and who knows when that will be!!!???) ... I leave you with a couple of recent dungeon pics!

A la carte

Summer is drawing to a close.  It has been a great summer here in the mountains.  Unseasonably hot - which I love, and mostly dry... except for Irene, of course.  Not far from here there was record flooding, but our dungeon stayed dry.  I did need to use candlelight in the dungeon for a couple of nights because the electricity was out but that just added to our experience.  I used the candle in conventional ways to light the room, but I was surprised that the marks I left with the cane were so pronounced in the light of day.  I guess I need better lighting when I inflict stripes!

I don't think I can connect the events of the summer in a cohesive post, so I'm going to post a few interesting facts and/or thoughts and/or opinions and/or completely useless trivia.  In no particular order, I offer the following paragraphs, completely standalone thoughts which make no sense as a bigger picture...

I saw this article about a USB vibrator that can store data as well as pleasure the mistress!  How handy, I guess.  Really, I know we like to have gadgets that can do anything and everything all on one device... but if I was going to attempt to multitask my vibrator, I might morph it with a razor or an mp3 player or a flashlight or a Guinness beer and a cigarette.   I wish they would call me for these brainstorming sessions!  I suppose one nice thing about the usb is that it will charge the vibrator - nothing worse than losing power mid session!

My search for a femsub continues.  At times, I enjoy the process - even the fakers amuse me.  At times, I just step away from it for a while.  It is a tricky enterprise.  One in which the circumstances need to be as perfect as possible before I would really attempt a true step forward.  Subby is always on the edge wondering if I will ever pull the trigger.  I've chatted with some, talked with some on the phone, etc, but I am convinced that a true femsub will only come through a real life encounter and not through a meeting online.  Saratoga offered some wonderful suggestions that I have begun to explore.  Recently, I watched the docu-drama, Catfish.  I loved the movie and was drawn in immediately.  It is a movie that follows a man (along with his friends) on a journey to unmask a virtual girlfriend.  The circumstances that brought the woman into Nev's life are interesting and complicated and the ruse to maintain the relationship is sick!  I could completely sympathize with the main character, Nev (who is a very handsome man, btw), and I enjoyed watching the journey the 'boys' took in pursuing reality. 

I turned 40.  That's all. 

I changed my profile pic on collarme - and not surprisingly, got lots of emails.  I hope you enjoy this pic of me as I've not had a new one here in a long time!  I have been practicing outside with the whip and I am improving!!!!  Practice, practice, practice.   

Subby has been attentive this summer.  We have enjoyed being outdoors and indoors.  Some of the most memorable femdom experiences of the summer took place in the dungeon with subby in the stocks!  But those experiences carryover into our normal day to day life and it has been a pleasure to be around subby this summer.  Less re-training was required as he is becoming a very loyal and obedient pet!

I expect to resume posting soon with more specific updates.  However, I don't think I will be able to maintain the frequency of posting that I was accustomed to before my summer break.  We'll see... I do have a few experiences I am excited to share with you! 

Summertime

Thank you to the readers who have contacted me to let me know that they've missed me.  All is well here in our small part of the world. 

Summertime is always full of exciting adventures and this summer is no exception.  Sadly, the adventures have been vanilla in nature and some of them have kept me from my dungeon.  We live in a gorgeous area that is considered a vacation spot for many.  Our extended family love that we own a home here and fill up our schedule with visits and sleepovers.  While we love having them (most of the time) their stays prevent any kind of dungeon play.  I mean, can you imagine the scene... 'Mom, do you mind hanging out here while I take sissy to the dungeon?  Who is sissy, you wonder?  What dungeon, you ask?"  Ha! 



"Marie!!!  Whatever are you doing to that poor man???!!!"


I expect to resume my regular posting in the next few weeks.  I've tried to be creative to keep sissy in submissive mode and have been fairly successful so retraining should not likely be necessary - but you never know - and i'm sure it would be fun for me if it was!

Also, femsub searching continues.  I've found some who seem to be genuinely interested... but chemistry is also very important so the process is slowgoing.

I hope you will hang in there with me during this summer hiatus and I promise to return soon!